Showing posts tagged single.

Grim dating up North?

Ask me anything   20-something lady from North West of England, servicing the men of Manchester and Liverpool with my dating antics....

    8. In which I am FREAKED OUT.

    OK. Something really weird happened the other day.

    I freaked out for a while, then realised it was just a very strange coincidence.

    My ex re-added me on Facebook. I say re-added because after the brief period of time we were together, the reason we broke up was because he needed to ‘sort his head out’, he deleted me out of his online life and got with a tiny blonde girl.  Without a word.

    I proceeded to forget about him, dick. But he was always there because he kept my best friend for years and would talk to her all. The. Time. Said friend is no longer a friend because of many reasons – I’m sure you can tell what kind of person she was for not instantly siding with her best friend.

    So, suddenly he re-added me. And because I’m a nosy bitch I accepted, I had absolutely no intention of letting this horrible guy back into my life. I’ll admit I was hoping for a conversation where I could show off about my fabulous life and how GREAT I’M DOING, but I am human.

    I scrolled quite far down his timeline because I was nosing at his last girlfriend, and yes I do know how sad that is, but I got a way down and there, one of my ex’s girl mates had posted a picture OF J. MY J. J I’VE BEEN DATING. And on it she wrote ‘Look A, it’s your twin!’ WHAT THE FUCK. How has this happened? One, J looks nothing like my ex as my ex is ugly as hell, and two, the picture was his off the dating website; what sort of crazy girl posts pictures of other people on Facebook? What a weirdo!

    I freaked out and had to phone my bezzie to share my terrified emotions, HOW THE HELL HAS THIS HAPPENED, WHAT ARE THE CHANCES?!

    No way am I telling J that I was stalking my ex, but do I warn him some crazy girl’s posting his photo? Hmmm. I don’t want to come across as a crazy.

    In conclusion, my ex annoyed me so much talking publically to my ex-bezzie that I’ve deleted him again, so no worries about that happening.  

    — 2 years ago
    #dating  #single  #foreveralone  #drama  #personal 
    7. - In which I am a bit bowled over.

    Sorry for the lack of update, I have had an immensely heavy weekend with birthdays and festivals and so I have literally just got to sit down!

    So, I wasn’t really looking forward to this date with J when it boiled down to it, but due to all the build up and banter we’d had I figured I owed it to my invested time to at least see if the guy was the sleaze he was turning out to be in my head.

    So we’d agreed to meet at a bar in a trendy part of Manchester. This was the day before. (He’d also offered to pick me up in his car again but that is not happening! I made some excuse about having to deliver something to my mates so I was off the hook.) The day of, I like to send the ‘are we still on for today’ text, just in case, you never know. He didn’t reply. I got ready anyway and settled down with a drink so I could carry on with my flatmates if he let me down, which I was fully expecting him to at this point.

    Onto my second drink I still hadn’t heard from him, so I just sent a ‘Erm hi I feel like I’m hassling you a bit here but are we still meeting?’

    He text back saying he was on his way in his car. Bugger. I literally flew out of the house, praying there was a bus around, but luckily got there just after he did. I stood outside to text him, I’m such a wimp entering bars on my own, but before I can send it he’s zipped out the bar and pulled me in for a hug. Oooh this is nice, I like a man that can hold his own. We grab drinks, he pays, and settle down for a chat. He’s very good looking and polite (not what I was expecting) and tallllll and we have so much in common! He pokes a little fun at me but takes it quite well when I give it back, which I like.

    He’s driving so he only has one drink, and after my two accidental cans and another pint I’m feeling too happy for my liking on a first date so I promise myself I’ll slow down. I’m also mooning over him a bit too much. And I’m a big believer that you can have too much of good thing AND there is such thing as too good to be true.

    He smokes so we go outside a few times and as were in a up-and-coming area that’s still quite dodgy there’s a lot of homeless people that ask us for money. Around three times to be exact, which is quite awkward and scary.

    He was keen to move to another bar, which was pleasing to know that he was keen to not let it go stale. He reads books! Proper books! This never happens!

    We covered a lot of things that I never really talk about on a first date, like the fact I live with my stepdad not my dad, and our mutual love of Harry Potter. And he let me buy a round in the second bar which I really liked. We were there for around two and a half hours but it literally felt like nothing, he was really cool. He was the one who decided to get going and as I was feeling high on life – and the few drinks – I cheekily asked him for a lift, which never I would never do, but he seemed pretty chuffed (I think he’s a bit proud of his car hehe.)

    When we pulled up outside my house we exchanged pleasantries and I was peering at him a bit to see if I could gage what to do because I realllly fancied him, but in the end I offered a thank you and a ‘see ya’ and hopped out of the car.

    He wasn’t sure where he was going from mine so I text him half an hour later to check if he got back ok and he said basically that he was home and he was surprised to hear from me. When I asked why he said it was because there was no kiss, no hug goodbye. I basically told him I was an idiot and didn’t know if he wanted me to, and he basically said he was desperate to! SQEEUUAKKKKKKKK. But I am still being cautious.

    Who am I kidding. He is fit.

    Pointed moments of awkwardness:

    He nips off to the loo and I send a quick text to my pal as she knew how much I was worrying about what he was going to be like. He is already back just as I press send, so I stuff my phone hastily in my bag…and he laughs ‘Was that the safety text?’ he winks at me. I feel a bit embarrassed but stay defiant, ‘can you blame me?’ and we laugh. Phew.

    We go out so he can have a ciggie in the second bar and leave our coats on the chairs. When we get back the bar man has swiped our drinks away. We sit down and I  sidle a look at him because I’m not sure what to do but luckily the barman swoops over and is very apologetic and gets us new drinks for free. Woooo. This also explains my heightened alcohol consumption. 

    — 2 years ago
    #single  #dating  #foreveralone 
    6. in which a boy i’ve never met assumes he can come to my house.

    Been talking to another gentlemen for quite a while via text, which feels a lot more intimate than messaging on that god-awful website  that I’m beginning to hate. Which I’ve assumed is a normal thing from reading other dating blogs.

    He seems absolutely lovely, and a bit cheeky which I like, and which I think K lacks. I can’t do the straight up good-guy thing. I like them confident, but not cocky.

    Now, I was supposed to meet with him last week, the week I was meeting with K. I’ve never been a big P.I.M.P so I felt pretty weird dating two guys in one week. But after some reassurance from male friend C he assured me it would make me feel BAD (in the good way.)

    But I had a slight problem as he (let’s call him J) was only free the same day I was seeing K. Whoops.

    I was a bit gutted here because I was more excited to meet J. He is actually the definition of tall, dark and handsome, 6”3 and very good looking in a cute way, which I can handle. Drop dead gorgeous makes me nervous. And a car mechanic. Very very manly. Phwooarrrr.

    But alas, the text flirting carried on full force after I assured him I was still interested but busy and now he wants to meet up this week. I have no problem with this at all, but yesterday our texting took a worrying turn, which has put me off a tad.

    J : what do you want to do? Go for a drink or something? I’m not sure where you live is there anywhere half decent round yours?

    Me: yeah a drink sounds good, I live on the edge of Salford and there’s literally nowhere, I normally go into town but is that too far from you?

    J: it’s a bit far out yeah but I don’t mind if that’s what you want to do. I doubt you’d want to invite a stranger to your place.

    (ERM NO I DON’T. That is clearly another rule I’ll have to make clear, NO PERSONAL SPACE INVASIONS BY STRANGERS)

    Me: Are you sure? I don’t want to put you out :/

    J: Are you sure there’s nowhere near you? I can always pick you up and drive somewhere

    ( I am also not getting in a stranger’s car!! What on earth is wrong with this boy? I am swiftly changing my mind by this point)

    Me: there’s  literally only grotty pubs near me a bus takes me under 10 mins so it doesn’t put me off at all J

    J: to be honest id rather just bob round and watch a DVD or something but if that’s not an option grotty pubs will be fine

    I am very very put off and angry by this point. I don’t understand what a guy who says he’s  looking for a relationship is doing trying to bribe me to let him in my house when we first meet. How intrusive! HELLO HERE IS MY PERSONAL SPACE WELCOME MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME (?!)

    Me: well yeah I’d rather meet you somewhere. Sure you cant be tempted with town? Only 10 mins away and much nicer!

    (This is definitely not happening unless its on my terms. And to be honest, the pubs aren’t that bad but the only two I’d step in are a recent fling’s haunts. So that’s a no go)

    J: Sure town sounds fine, apologies for my forwardness I think subconsciously I was trying to avoid that nervous first meeting someone thing, it’ll be fine 

    Hmmmmm. If I was me a few years ago this would be a reasonable explanation and I would’ve ran along to meet him with no qualms. Lalalala. But in my head I’m now being very very cautious about this guy. I don’t think its anything sinister, but I definitely do not trust someone that I’ve never met that thinks its normal to come to my house and I’m not going to bat an eyelid!

    I’m unsure about this and don’t think I’m too bothered anymore. Sigh. 

    — 2 years ago with 1 note
    #single  #dating  #foreveralone  #UK 
    5. in which i am a bit hassled.

    About two years ago, I was dating this guy.

    That’s a lie. I was basically going to this guy’s flat and watching films and having sex with him. It wasn’t as seedy as it sounds! We got on really well and I felt really relaxed in his company.

    This went on for a while, it suited me because I was still in party mode then and didn’t want a relationship. We’d watch Will Smith and Jason Statham films, laugh, talk and have good sex and cuddle.

    I sort of knew something was going on. We had mutual friends and you always hear when things happen. I knew there was another girl but I accepted that I hadn’t mentioned a relationship, and I didn’t want one anyway, but it’s always a pretty horrible feeling knowing you’re not the only string to someone’s bow.

    He tried to tell me once, the last time we slept together actually, but I didn’t want to hear it. A few days later he was in relationship with a 6-foot-something hair model with no boobs and a pixie cut. I’ll point out this is the exact opposite of me, so as you imagine that made me feel CLASS.

    That was that. I’d see him around a few times and it was always slightly awkward, but civil, and by the next summer he’d moved back down South. He was boxed off, as I like to call it, and that suited me fine.

    But he liked to keep up to date with my life. All the time. Every few months he’d pop up with a ‘hi how are you?’ never seedy, never pushy. Every time I changed my number he’d find some way to get it.

     I’m making excuses here, I’d always give it to him. I’m not sure why, I like my men in compartments in my mind so I always know where I stand and when to forget about them. I don’t do messy relationships anymore, the few times I’ve tried it never worked out very well…

    Fast forward to present day. Last week I got drunk and had a bit of a freak out about being ‘forever alone’ and posted a very emo Facebook status. In my drunken mind I don’t know why that was a good idea, I usually save these things for Twitter, sigh. He text me that night to check I was ok, and now will. Not. Leave. Me. Alone.

    He’s still with that girl, and yet wants to go out with me. Just for a drink mind you but, do I really want to get mixed up in that? We all know what will happen after a few cocktails.

    He’s asked me to go down South to ‘watch Jason Statham films’ (cuuttteeee.) But I fobbed him off by saying it was a bit of a way to go just for a film.

    No dramas.

    The sex was always good though…

    — 2 years ago with 1 note
    #single  #dating  #personal 
    1. in which i take the plunge.

    So, as part of taking control of my life I’ve decided to try internet dating.

    I always promised myself that if I hit 30 and I’m, sometimes it seems inevitably, still single, I’d sign up. But after waking up one too many times with a horrible sick feeling at my empty bed, and some encouragement from friends, I went through the awkward process of setting up my own profile.

    I’m still not really sure what I’m supposed to write in those blank boxes but I’ve been told since I seem ‘genuine’ and ‘down to earth’, but then again there are a lot of absolute creeps on these sites, as I suspected, and as I found out, as you will hear about in due course.

    Saying that, my flatmate has met a nice gentleman and her long term boyfriend through said popular dating site and a course mate has had some enjoyable encounters through the same thing.

    I’ve had some genuinely filthy messages. I don’t think I can even repeat what I’ve read without blushing furiously, I just instantly delete them. Shiver. Gag. Sigh.

    It is a weird situation. But I’m refusing to be ashamed about it, or consider the fact that there is something drastically wrong with me anymore. The whole of our lives are conducted by technology now, so why there is still a stigma about using it to date completely baffles me. 

    — 2 years ago with 1 note
    #single  #dating  #UK  #foreveralone  #personal 

    Ok, a no-frills account of my life. I’m a long-life singleton. I had a flurry of ‘boyfriends’ in high school, but in all honesty I only ever had them when I was 15/16 because they liked me, and everyone else had a boy to giggle over. I was never really that interested and just wanted to go the park and get bladdered and giddy with my mates.

    When I hit 17 I just wanted to have sex. I feel I had held out long enough waiting for ‘the right guy’ and so I picked one that I had been swooning over since I was around 13. He fucked me about anyway, so my efforts at making the right decision were a ‘waste of time’ in my 17-year-old brain.

    Now I’m in my early twenties and have been wanting a relationship since I hit around 20. I went straight to University after college, and no one wants a relationship in the first year of that do they…

    But, for whatever reason, maybe it’s my attitude change, maybe it’s just a weird age to be, but since I’ve started hankering for a partner, the offers and opportunities are pretty much none-existent.

    So, this blog is the beginning of my futile attempts to take some control over this situation and hopefully turn it into something productive. As a budding writer I need something to flex my creative muscles to regularly, and putting it public will ensure I do it. 

    — 2 years ago with 2 notes
    #dating  #england  #intro  #single  #personal